House's Day Off
by Draven L. Strange
Summary: House runs into trouble on his day off.
1. Chapter 1

House laid on his couch flipping through the channels on his TV. He was alone in his apartment and was very bored. It was his day off and he missed annoying Cuddy and making sarcastic comments to his team. House got up and limped toward the window.

" I wonder if that nice blonde is back from her run" he thought as he peered out his window. He gazed out at the people walking on the opposite sidewalk. Soon something caught his eye. A man holding binoculars pointed at him. He instantly ducked. Many thoughts ran through his head. " What's with the peeping tom. Maybe Cuddy hired a private eye to spy on my private life."

He peeked over the wind sill to see the man. The man was bald with a short beard. He was in the driver's seat of a small black car. Right then he was playing with the radio. House noticed that there was another man in the passenger's seat. That man was taking apart something in his hand. As House squinted to see better, he saw that the man was loading a gun. This man had short blond hair. The bald man soon got the blond man's attention and pointed at House's apartment. House again ducked down, this time to call for backup.


	2. Chapter 2

" Someone is trying to kill you" Wilson asked in disbelief.

" Yeah, well its actually two someones. One has a gun. Actually there might be more, but I don't know." House replied into his cell phone. " Just come here and help me."

" I can't. One… because I'm swamped with patients and two… because I don't want to die. Just call 911."

" No. If the cops come they'll just scare them off. I want these guys gone."

" Fine. I'll send someone over."

" Good, but not Foreman or Cuddy, someone I actually hired. Tell them to wait outside." House said as he hung up. 10 minutes passed before he got a call. His phone read 'Kutner' House answered.

" Where are you" House said instantly.

" Outside in my car, what do you want" Kutner asked.

" You see a small black car near the bus stop."

" Yeah, with the bald and blond guys. What about them."

" They're trying to kill me."

" God House who'd you piss off this time" said Kutner in slight anger.

" I don't know. I had a Mafia-kinda guy two months ago. If anything they should be thanking, I saved his life."

" These guys don't look like the mob. Anyway what should we do."

House thought for a moment. An idea struck him. "Wait for the bus to come. That should provide enough cover for me to get over there. By the way, Wilson really sent you."

"Well he told me he already called Taub and Thirteen. Both busy. Thirteen might have a date, I mean she is pretty hot, but what could Taub be doing." said Kutner.

" He probably wasn't watching Battlestar Galactica unlike you" Kutner didn't respond making House grin in satisfaction. "Its been nice talking to you, but I see the bus coming, get ready to drive." And with that House grabbed his cane and his coat and limped out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

House got out of the elevator quickly and into the small lobby. He looked outside to spot Kutner's old, beat up, blue car.

" Can I help you sir" the desk manager asked.

" Yeah, you can shave that awful beard" House replied. House soon spotted the car down the street. He went out of the apartment and crossed the street. The bus left as he reached Kutner's car. Except Kutner wasn't there. House tried to open the door, but it was locked. He glanced around and saw Kutner with a bag down the street.

" Hurry" House yelled. Kutner unlocked the doors and got in the car with House.

" What took you so long" House asked angrily.

" I went to get a slurpie. Here I got you one to" Kutner said handing House the beverage. House looked back to see the men starting up the car.

" Crap, they saw us. Drive!" House said. Kutner fumbled with his keys, but was able to get the car working and they drove off.

" Where are we going" Kutner asked.

" I don't know yet just keep drivin… mmmm this is delicious" House said while drinking his slurpie. Kutner drove through the streets, turning left and right, just trying to lose the men following them. They didn't lose them. After almost half an hour, Kutner was lost.

" Where are we?" asked House as he opened the slurpie to check for anything left.

" Looks like uptown" replied Kutner.

" Uptown?" said House. " I think I know somewhere to hide. Turn right at that light."

" Hey House look" Kutner said pointing back. " They're gone" House looked back. The black car was gone. House didn't believe it. " High five" Kutner said holding his hand out. When House didn't five him, he pulled his hand back.

Suddenly the black car appeared turning a fast left from an adjacent street onto theirs. The two cars were now heading towards each other. The blond man stuck his gun out the window and fired. Kutner and House ducked as Kutner swerved left to avoid the car. The shots hit the windshield and the glass shattered on them. When they were clear from the car, they sat up and took the right at the light. They sped up.

" That was close" House casually said. " Take a left here." Kutner simply nodded because he was silent with fear. With the left turn, they entered a street with good, middle-class houses. It was a cul-de-sac that was surrounded by trees on three sides. " Go into the forest, there we'll drop the car" Kutner drove into the trees through an opening at the end of the cul-de-sac. They got out of the car.

House immediately went left and traveled on a trail with Kutner following behind.

" Where's this safe place we were going to. Before we almost died!"

House stopped and went through the trees into someone's backyard. " Here we are" he said as he got a key under a gnome and opened the backdoor.

" Wait, wait, we can't just go into some stranger's house.

" Sure we can. It's Taub's."


	4. Chapter 4

Taub arrived at his house and went inside. When he closed the door he was greeted by House sitting on his couch.

" Hey Taub" House cheerfully greeted.

" What are you doing in my house?" Taub asked.

" Enjoying the last of you cheerios" House said as he ate.

" Wait…….what? How did you get here?" Taub said

" Boo!"

"Ahhh!!" screamed Taub as Kutner burst out of the hallway closet. Taub jumped back and clutched his heart as if he had a heart attack.

" We took my car" said Kutner who was laughing.

" Did you see a black, four door car roaming around these parts?" House asked.

" Now that you mention it yeah, are those my slippers?"

" Maybe" House replied. " Those men are trying to kill us."

" You mean you" corrected Kutner.

" No, because now they'll come after you for helping me. Anyway, _we _need help."

House went over everything that happened that morning.

" Fine, what do you want me to do?" asked Taub.

" Just drive us around" said House. "I'll think of something."

Taub, Kutner, and House soon went into Taub's hummer. They drove off slowly with House laying down in the back and Kutner ducking in passenger. They soon got into a populated area of town.

" So what were you so busy with that you couldn't pay me a visit" House asked.

"If you must know, I was buying my wife a birthday present" Taub replied.

" So your wife comes before me?" House asked. Taub shook his head in annoyance. After minutes of aimlessly driving, they ran into familiar faces at a stoplight.

"Duck" yelled Taub. Taub tried to act normal as the men were sitting on a bench on the side walk right next to them. Once the light turned green, they sped off.

" Circle around , its time for the hunters to become the hunted" ordered House. Taub hesitantly obeyed and stopped once they the bottom right corner of the intersection, opposite them.

" It's a shame the whole team isn't here" said House. " Even Foreman, he's started to gain weight. I could've used him as a shield. And Thirteen would've made a great sight to die to"

" Part of your wish came true" Kutner said getting there attention. " Speaking of the smoking hot she-devil, there she is." Kutner pointed her out near the men. She was alone with a shopping bag and was the only one crossing the street. Until, the men got up when they saw here. They followed her across the street until they were out of the guys' sight.

" They're after Thirteen now?" asked Taub.

" Lets follow them" said House. Taub started up the car and they soon turned to follow the men who were following Thirteen.


	5. Chapter 5

Thirteen continued to walk down the side walk, oblivious to the men ten feet behind her. The men continued to follow for a couple of blocks. After a while, House decided to act. The guys drove up next to Thirteen and rolled down the window.

" Hey baby, I'm a rich doctor. How would you like to be my mistress" House said to Thirteen. Thirteen glanced at him with a smile, but look straight when she saw him.

" What are you doing here. Its my day off." She mumbled, trying not to draw attention.

" Wilson called you to help me and you turned me down to go shopping? Anyway, do you know that there are two men with guns walking behind you?" Thirteen didn't respond. " Why? You can tell me later, just get in the car."

Thirteen stopped and 'checked her watch'. causing the men to stop. Once she heard the car unlock, she instantly opened the door, threw her bags in, and jumped in. They drove off leaving the men to wait for a car to steal.

Thirteen's bags hit House making him fall to the car floor. Thirteen had jumped onto him and was stuck.

" I like this hiding spot" House said. " We should stay like this, just in case they see us."

Thirteen hit him and got up. Kutner started telling her about how they all got into the mess.

" I didn't scream like a girl" Taub said referring to the incident at his house.

" Yeah you did. It was so funny." Kutner said.

" Ok so where are we going?" asked Thirteen.

" Everyone keeps asking that." House said. "And finally, I come up with a solution. We get a guns, lead them to somewhere quiet, and shoot them." There was an awkward silence then for a few seconds. "Anyone have a gun."

" I do" Thirteen said pulling out a gun from her purse. House and Kutner stared at her while she had an, innocent girl look. " And I know a place."

Thirteen started giving Taub directions while House and Kutner stared at each other.

" I'd fire you for carrying a gun. But the fact that you have a deadly weapon only makes you sexier" House said very seriously.

They soon arrived at a warehouse in the woods. They all left the car and got ready to fight. Thirteen got out her phone and called someone.

" Hey Mark, guess where I am.…….I dare you to come here. Fine. Good. Bye."

House, Kutner, and Taub were hiding behind some crates.

" Remind to do a background check on her." House said.


	6. Chapter 6

The team broke into their battle stations. The warehouse was filled with crates and big containers. There was a metal staircase against a wall, leading to a thin top level, running against the sides of the walls. There were two 'bridges' running horizontally, connecting the left and right sides.

House was hiding behind a crate in the northwest corner. Kutner was on top of a large container, behind some barrels. Taub had the lucky job of sitting in the car in a nearby garage as 'lookout.' Thirteen was on the bottom right corner of the ground floor, behind a crate, with the gun in hand.

Taub called within ten minutes of Thirteen's call to warn them. The door soon burst open. The bald and blond guys were back. Accept this time they were carrying Mac 10s. Kutner whimpered when he saw them. They had the intent to kill.

" Come out doctors" the bald man said laughing as they slowly searched around the left side. Kutner and Thirteen were on the right side. Once the men were in the corner, Thirteen sprung into action. She fired a couple shots. She missed because the men ducked behind crates. The men blind fired in her direction, causing her to take cover. Soon, both sides were blind firing. Neither side was giving up.

With out even thinking, Kutner jumped out from his hiding spot.

" Come get me losers" he yelled as he ran to the north east ground corner. The blond man stepped out of his spot to shoot Kutner. Thirteen did the same. She shot one bullet and it went right between the man's eyes. He was dead.

" If I'm still alive, please remind me not to get on her bad side" House yelled down to Kutner, who was directly below him. House then got up and limped as fast as he could across the platform. " Come on you bald piece of sh….."

House was cut off as he was forced to duck behind a crate as the bald man unleashed the whole round at House. Again, Thirteen shot one bullet, but this time it hit straight through his heart. The battle was over.

House walked down the stairs and joined Kutner and Thirteen on the ground.

" Whew what a day" House sighed casually.

" What" Kutner exclaimed. " Having a lot of patients is ' what a day.' This is like 'Oh my God! We almost got killed, I'll never be the same again' type of day."

House just shrugged.

" So, Thirteen. Mind telling me how you know those fine men" House asked.

" Lets say I was involved with some bad people before I became a doctor."

" Hey guys, what are we going to say if the bodies are found" asked Kutner.

" We call the police first and tell them it was self defense. They always believe it. You act like I've never done this before." said Thirteen.

House and Kutner stopped in awe as Thirteen continued to walk. They watched her as she swayed her hips seductively.

" Hey House, are we going to get my car" said Kutner, snapping back into reality.

" There goes the sexy, mysterious Thirteen. No name, no history." said House trying to sound like a voice over. " The best doctor I ever hired. Man, what a day off."


End file.
